This week is crazy. My birthday was Tuesday, today is my daughters birthday and Saturday and Sunday are birthday parties. Last night was also a relief society birthday party. What does that mean for me and my goals? Food, lots of sugary, greasy, "hey who cares its your birthday" yummy food. I decided to indulge on my birthday. I ate a burger and fries and cupcakes and pizza and soda. Everything I was dreaming to eat. But at the end of the day I was so sick. I was dying to get back on track and eat healthy the next day. Yesterday was a day of temptation and although I managed to stay on track for most of it I just couldn't say no to the delicious cake sitting right in front of me. Today my daughter wanted to get doughnuts for her class so of course there were doughnuts for breakfast. I managed to say no and eat my healthy veggie and egg breakfast. But I was feeling overwhelmed because as part of the birthday fun I wanted to take molly out to lunch today. She of course wants to go to McDonald's and when I asked what she wanted me to make for dinner tonight her response was mac and cheese. It's starting to feel like too much! And my thoughts were selling me on the idea of giving up or pausing til Monday. Luckily, I listened to a podcast yesterday that really motivated me to stay on track. The podcast was by Ed Mylett (another life coach) and I heard about him through my brother in law. It was the first podcast from Ed Mylett that I have listened too but it made an impact on me.
His podcast was about patterns. Patterns we create in our lives when things get hard or when things get good. He said we all have a pattern of action that we don't really recognize. For me that is eating healthy. I have a pattern of doing good and then a situation or situation(s) come up where temptation is everywhere or it feels like it is everywhere. I then feel overwhelmed and my action is giving up or stopping, which I always hate because then I have to start all over again. I felt it in February when I started the 28 day health challenge, then in week 2 I went on vacation. I feel it now with birthday week. This thought that I can't or I don't want to do this. But Ed said that if you can recognize the pattern, if you can make a conscious decision to acknowledge it then it no longer has any power over you. That is so awesome! And I feel it working for me. Last night when I was feeling weak and reviewing in my head all the food I would be missing out on, I examined my thoughts and realized its a pattern. Now I feel so much power and so much more in control just because I am determined not to follow the pattern. I will keep plugging away, loving myself, eating what I healthy when I can and not beating myself up for mistakes. I will not give up and I will not be defeated. I will keep going because I worth it!
A quote I keep by my bed says: "IF YOU DON'T GIVE UP THEN YOU CAN'T FAIL" it is so true!
Thursday, March 28, 2019
Tuesday, March 26, 2019
First Week Review
I made it one week! That is a huge step for me. Its always takes 3 days for me to be fully mentally committed to a diet. Where this is a lifestyle change its feels great to still be motivated to continue. I have said it before but I think I really mean it this time:This time around I am actually feeling like I can keep up with these eating habits for a long time or really just all the time. Eating healthy 80 percent of the time feels awesome because I don't feel deprived of anything. I get to eat treats and have soda and candy but I just don't gorge myself or make it my main diet. It has also healed my relationship with food. I get to eat some really yummy super healthy things that keeps me excited for the next meal and I get a treat every so often too. I don't feel bored because I'm eating in rotation of phases (reference the fast metabolism diet) and I'm not frustrated trying to find healthy things to eat. Having a routine is so helpful and keeping a rotation helps it not feel boring. Does that make sense? Here is an example of what I am talking about:
Breakfast Schedule:
Mon-Tues: Oatmeal fruit Shake
Wed-Thurs: Fried egg and veggie hash
Fri-Sat: Peanut butter on toast with a side of fruit
Sunday: French Toast with fruit
Its a routine that i don't have to stress about and its a rotation so I'm not eating the same thing everyday. I'm not bored because I am changing things up but I'm also not stressed trying to find something healthy to eat. It's all there for me. It really helps me stay on track and experience a variety of healthy breakfasts.
The same can be said for lunch:
Mon-Tues: Chicken and veggie Stir fry with fruit
Wed-Thurs: Turkey Salad
Fri-Sunday: Sandwich with a fruit and veggie
The only thing that changes of course is my dinner menu but even that is easy with some practice. Meal planning and journaling helped me get through my first week. I am a recovering scale-o-holic (addicted to the scale) so I have measured myself after a week and I am down a few pounds. (Exact number will be calculated after the 30 day benchmark) I have cut down quite a bit and that feels good too. But I'm proud of myself for not giving up and I know I am on the right track! That feels awesome too!!
Breakfast Schedule:
Mon-Tues: Oatmeal fruit Shake
Wed-Thurs: Fried egg and veggie hash
Fri-Sat: Peanut butter on toast with a side of fruit
Sunday: French Toast with fruit
Its a routine that i don't have to stress about and its a rotation so I'm not eating the same thing everyday. I'm not bored because I am changing things up but I'm also not stressed trying to find something healthy to eat. It's all there for me. It really helps me stay on track and experience a variety of healthy breakfasts.
The same can be said for lunch:
Mon-Tues: Chicken and veggie Stir fry with fruit
Wed-Thurs: Turkey Salad
Fri-Sunday: Sandwich with a fruit and veggie
The only thing that changes of course is my dinner menu but even that is easy with some practice. Meal planning and journaling helped me get through my first week. I am a recovering scale-o-holic (addicted to the scale) so I have measured myself after a week and I am down a few pounds. (Exact number will be calculated after the 30 day benchmark) I have cut down quite a bit and that feels good too. But I'm proud of myself for not giving up and I know I am on the right track! That feels awesome too!!
Thursday, March 21, 2019
Calories Don't Count!
For years I have been counting calories. I thought for too long that if I want to be successful in weight loss I needed to be hyper aware of my caloric intake. Years of practicing and counting led me to have a negative relationship with food. I began to fear eating, even when my stomach was starving because I didn't want to go over 1200 calories. I was also eating unhealthy food because it was low calorie. Diet coke for example: 0 calories, which in my mind meant that it wouldn't have any affect on my body, Wrong! Calories don't make sense because our bodies don't work off calories. They work of nutrients, protein, carbs, fats, and sugars. Everything else is just processed and stored or digested. Our bodies are amazing and they work so hard for us even when we are not treating them well. Which I have been doing to my body for a long time. Without understanding the body, its easy to put everything onto the calorie. Its an easy way for our brain to process what is good and what is bad. But our body doesn't work that way. We all have an awesome network of systems called: Metabolism. That is a post for another day but back to the calorie....
What does the energy required to raise the temperature of water have to do with our bodies? We are not water, we have water inside us but once again we are not water.
I have heard all the calorie propaganda for years and it never made sense to me. Such as 3500 calories=1 pound of fat. The average person needs 2000 calories per day. In order to lose weight you must reduce you caloric intake by 500-600 calories and you should expect to lose 1-2 pounds a week. I am calling BS on all of that! Because its not true! My body has never worked that way no matter how much I wanted to believe it. If it were that simple there would not be such things as "plateaus" this phrase is used so much in the fitness and health industry. It describes a period of time in which your body will not lose any more weight. You either maintain or gain weight even though everything you are doing is the exact same as when you were losing weight. Its because your amazing body doesn't work off calories, it work off metabolism. I spent way to many nights or mornings upset because I starved myself all day and worked my butt off only to have the scale show that I lost nothing or even worse somehow managed to gain a half a pound or so. Not anymore, learning the bodies process from a professional with years of nutritional experience was a game changer for me. Most importantly it healed my relationship with food.
I am here to start a revolution. Delete your calorie counting app my friend, and stop looking at the calorie number on the side of the food label. Instead look at the ingredients list. If you can't pronounce most of it, then its not food. You can plan out healthy meals, eat real food, and keep treats as just treats. If you need help then you can research and read from the experts. The best thing I did for myself was type into google "Healthy diet books" it lead me to the fast metabolism diet and Haley Palmory. I am not hear to tell you what to do (well other then to stop counting calories, I will do that) Choose your own eating habits based on your own research. Then Join the revolution!
Here is the definition of a calorie:
The energy needed to raise the temperature of 1 gram of water through 1 °C
What does the energy required to raise the temperature of water have to do with our bodies? We are not water, we have water inside us but once again we are not water.
I have heard all the calorie propaganda for years and it never made sense to me. Such as 3500 calories=1 pound of fat. The average person needs 2000 calories per day. In order to lose weight you must reduce you caloric intake by 500-600 calories and you should expect to lose 1-2 pounds a week. I am calling BS on all of that! Because its not true! My body has never worked that way no matter how much I wanted to believe it. If it were that simple there would not be such things as "plateaus" this phrase is used so much in the fitness and health industry. It describes a period of time in which your body will not lose any more weight. You either maintain or gain weight even though everything you are doing is the exact same as when you were losing weight. Its because your amazing body doesn't work off calories, it work off metabolism. I spent way to many nights or mornings upset because I starved myself all day and worked my butt off only to have the scale show that I lost nothing or even worse somehow managed to gain a half a pound or so. Not anymore, learning the bodies process from a professional with years of nutritional experience was a game changer for me. Most importantly it healed my relationship with food.
I am here to start a revolution. Delete your calorie counting app my friend, and stop looking at the calorie number on the side of the food label. Instead look at the ingredients list. If you can't pronounce most of it, then its not food. You can plan out healthy meals, eat real food, and keep treats as just treats. If you need help then you can research and read from the experts. The best thing I did for myself was type into google "Healthy diet books" it lead me to the fast metabolism diet and Haley Palmory. I am not hear to tell you what to do (well other then to stop counting calories, I will do that) Choose your own eating habits based on your own research. Then Join the revolution!
Its not about how much you eat. Its about what you eat!
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
How to change a thought
The wait is over! Here is the rest of the post from yesterday. I have mentioned before but its worth mentioning again. My knowledge and research one the human mind comes from life coaching and I am a student of Jody Moore. I am also a student of Becky Smith (who has a podcast coming soon which is so exciting). If you have not read my previous post this post won't make much sense, so I suggest reading it first then come here for the second half of the conversation.
Yesterday I discussed the model and how a brain processes a thought. Not every thought we think serves us or is useful. It's also not useful to label thoughts as good or bad, they are just thoughts. Whether or not they create the feeling and action we want makes them useful or not useful. So how do I change a thought? Easy just don't think it.....yeah right that has never worked for me. I have been to therapists and I have researched many ways to get rid of thoughts or even get control over thoughts. Nothing seemed to create any lasting result until I found life coaching. That is why I love it so much! Its not about labeling or shaming or even controlling. Its about accepting, and practicing and loving.
So here is the real question How Do I Change a Thought? Here are the steps:
1. Understand that it is just a thought. Half the battle is differentiating between a circumstance and a thought. Our brains are amazing salesmen and they can convince use anything is truth. But truth isn't harmful or hurtful, its neutral because its a circumstance not a thought. Here is my example: "I have anxiety." That sounds like a circumstance and for years I convinced myself that it was a circumstance, but actually its just a thought. Why? Because I can't prove it. I have not been diagnosed with a disorder from a medical professional. I don't have panic attacks and my life is not controlled by anxiety. A statement such as this is very vague. In order to put it in the circumstance line I have to be very "facty" about it. Meaning I have to be able to prove it. Have I been diagnosed: No, Am I currently taking medication? No. Have I experienced panic attacks? Not for a couple years. Then the fact is "I think I have I anxiety." That's why labels are not useful, they can be thoughts disguised as a circumstance. My anxiety is just a thought I sold myself into believing was a circumstance. It is also very important to note that circumstances don't change. They don't need too because the problem is in the thought not the circumstance.
2. Write the thought down in a Model: Writing down a thought is cathartic. Its a calming process because once I take enough time and energy to write down a thought I can look at it with my higher brain. I can use my logic and intelligence to really see it clearly.
3. Question the Thought. The thought is "I have anxiety" so to question that thought I would ask myself simple questions like: Do I have anxiety? Is my anxiety frequent? Is that thought useful to me? Do I want this thought? The only person that can answer these questions is me. But in order to get outside of my own head I need to write down the model and look at it with logic, sometimes that requires a life coach to help. Sometimes I can do it by myself. Its just a matter of how much I am willing to look at things without bias. That can be hard to do.
4. Decide to change the thought. That should be easy. But like I said our brains are amazing salesman and if we are thinking one thought for a long period of time, over and over again its hard or can be impossible to stop or change. The secret is twisting. Look at the model, answer the questions then decide to change. But whatever the new thought is it needs to be believable. I can't look at my thought "I have anxiety" and just change it to "I don't have anxiety" my brain would automatically refuse it because it goes against a stronger thought of "I have anxiety". Looking at my questions and answers will help twist my thought into something more useful.
Do I have anxiety? Sometimes but not always. Is my anxiety frequent? Moments through out the day depending on the situation. Is it a useful thought to me? No, because it makes me feel sad or unfit. Do I want this thought? No.
Now comes the thought twisting: Maybe the thought could be "I have anxious moments" or "I feel anxiety sometimes". Those both feel true and believable and they come with feelings of peace. Which means they are more useful to me. If I can't think of a new more useful thought then I can think of a feeling I want to have like: I want to feel happy... then I just go down the model:
What action would I take if I felt happy, like genuinely happy?I would do what i want without shaming myself.
What would be the result of that action? I feel anxiety sometimes but I don't care, I'm still awesome.
Then I could put that result into my thought line because my result always circles back to my thought.
So here is my thought work in model form:
Circumstance: Moments of feeling Stress
Thought: I have anxiety
Feeling: Sad, unfit
Action: Stress more. Hide away
Result: I become more anxious and I have more anxiety
Then I work through Steps 1 through 4
Circumstance: Moments of feeling stress
Thought: I feel stressed sometimes
Feeling: Calm, Peaceful
Action: Move on to other things
Result: I have moments of stress, but only sometimes
This takes time to master. That's why my blog is titled "Student of Life Coaching" Its a skill to be practiced. Its writing down models and going through steps and writing down new models. Then moving on to the next problem or revisiting the same problem if it pops up again. Its a lifetime practice. That's why every experienced life coach still has a life coach. That's a secret of the business. Even if you have years of experience and make a million dollars from helping others such as Jody Moore. You still need someone to talk too and discuss problems in unbiased way. That's cool to me. Because life is not about perfection, and life coaching teaches us how to accept and love life for the big mess it is. Not even me with all my awesome grammar errors. I'm far from being a perfect blogger. And you know what life coaching taught me about that: "I am so proud that I am so far from being a perfect blogger." Its a thought I choose to think but more on that later....
Yesterday I discussed the model and how a brain processes a thought. Not every thought we think serves us or is useful. It's also not useful to label thoughts as good or bad, they are just thoughts. Whether or not they create the feeling and action we want makes them useful or not useful. So how do I change a thought? Easy just don't think it.....yeah right that has never worked for me. I have been to therapists and I have researched many ways to get rid of thoughts or even get control over thoughts. Nothing seemed to create any lasting result until I found life coaching. That is why I love it so much! Its not about labeling or shaming or even controlling. Its about accepting, and practicing and loving.
So here is the real question How Do I Change a Thought? Here are the steps:
1. Understand that it is just a thought. Half the battle is differentiating between a circumstance and a thought. Our brains are amazing salesmen and they can convince use anything is truth. But truth isn't harmful or hurtful, its neutral because its a circumstance not a thought. Here is my example: "I have anxiety." That sounds like a circumstance and for years I convinced myself that it was a circumstance, but actually its just a thought. Why? Because I can't prove it. I have not been diagnosed with a disorder from a medical professional. I don't have panic attacks and my life is not controlled by anxiety. A statement such as this is very vague. In order to put it in the circumstance line I have to be very "facty" about it. Meaning I have to be able to prove it. Have I been diagnosed: No, Am I currently taking medication? No. Have I experienced panic attacks? Not for a couple years. Then the fact is "I think I have I anxiety." That's why labels are not useful, they can be thoughts disguised as a circumstance. My anxiety is just a thought I sold myself into believing was a circumstance. It is also very important to note that circumstances don't change. They don't need too because the problem is in the thought not the circumstance.
2. Write the thought down in a Model: Writing down a thought is cathartic. Its a calming process because once I take enough time and energy to write down a thought I can look at it with my higher brain. I can use my logic and intelligence to really see it clearly.
3. Question the Thought. The thought is "I have anxiety" so to question that thought I would ask myself simple questions like: Do I have anxiety? Is my anxiety frequent? Is that thought useful to me? Do I want this thought? The only person that can answer these questions is me. But in order to get outside of my own head I need to write down the model and look at it with logic, sometimes that requires a life coach to help. Sometimes I can do it by myself. Its just a matter of how much I am willing to look at things without bias. That can be hard to do.
4. Decide to change the thought. That should be easy. But like I said our brains are amazing salesman and if we are thinking one thought for a long period of time, over and over again its hard or can be impossible to stop or change. The secret is twisting. Look at the model, answer the questions then decide to change. But whatever the new thought is it needs to be believable. I can't look at my thought "I have anxiety" and just change it to "I don't have anxiety" my brain would automatically refuse it because it goes against a stronger thought of "I have anxiety". Looking at my questions and answers will help twist my thought into something more useful.
Do I have anxiety? Sometimes but not always. Is my anxiety frequent? Moments through out the day depending on the situation. Is it a useful thought to me? No, because it makes me feel sad or unfit. Do I want this thought? No.
Now comes the thought twisting: Maybe the thought could be "I have anxious moments" or "I feel anxiety sometimes". Those both feel true and believable and they come with feelings of peace. Which means they are more useful to me. If I can't think of a new more useful thought then I can think of a feeling I want to have like: I want to feel happy... then I just go down the model:
What action would I take if I felt happy, like genuinely happy?I would do what i want without shaming myself.
What would be the result of that action? I feel anxiety sometimes but I don't care, I'm still awesome.
Then I could put that result into my thought line because my result always circles back to my thought.
So here is my thought work in model form:
Current Thought:
Circumstance: Moments of feeling Stress
Thought: I have anxiety
Feeling: Sad, unfit
Action: Stress more. Hide away
Result: I become more anxious and I have more anxiety
Then I work through Steps 1 through 4
New Model:
Circumstance: Moments of feeling stress
Thought: I feel stressed sometimes
Feeling: Calm, Peaceful
Action: Move on to other things
Result: I have moments of stress, but only sometimes
This takes time to master. That's why my blog is titled "Student of Life Coaching" Its a skill to be practiced. Its writing down models and going through steps and writing down new models. Then moving on to the next problem or revisiting the same problem if it pops up again. Its a lifetime practice. That's why every experienced life coach still has a life coach. That's a secret of the business. Even if you have years of experience and make a million dollars from helping others such as Jody Moore. You still need someone to talk too and discuss problems in unbiased way. That's cool to me. Because life is not about perfection, and life coaching teaches us how to accept and love life for the big mess it is. Not even me with all my awesome grammar errors. I'm far from being a perfect blogger. And you know what life coaching taught me about that: "I am so proud that I am so far from being a perfect blogger." Its a thought I choose to think but more on that later....
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Thinking about my thoughts
Everything comes down to your thoughts. The good news is that you can think whatever you want. So the the ability to change anything or get control of anything rests on you. Its a lot of power that people give up and I'm just starting now to take some of that power back. I have mentioned modeling before but I thought it would be good to break it down so anyone reading this who is not familiar with life coaching and thought work can become familiar.
Everything starts with a circumstance. Circumstances are boring, they are neither good or bad. They are neutral and they can be proven. For Example a circumstance for me is: I am sitting at a computer typing a blog post. That is neutral, there is nothing good or bad about that, its pretty boring. But the important part is that I could prove it to another person.
Next comes thoughts, a thought comes from a circumstance and it is here that lies all the power. If my circumstance is that I am writing a blog post a thought that comes it mind is: Hey this is cool, look at me doing stuff. Or another thought could be: Does anyone care or will anyone actually read this? Those are two different paths I choose to go down. Which will it be? That's my choice.
Thoughts are important because they create feelings. Also being able to tell the difference between a circumstance and a thought is usually half the battle. That's one reason why its good to have a life coach to talk too and look into what is really causing that thought and feeling.
Feelings are next. Life is not all sunshine and rainbows and here is a fact about life: Half of the time everything is going to be feeling negative feelings. And that's OK! Its OK to be scared when you hear a car horn while you are crossing the street because that fear causes your body to react and look the direction of the on coming car. You the act and move out of the way. Feelings are not always that useful. One example would be: worrying I'm not being a good enough mother. That seems like it could be useful because it should make me try harder. But the action based on that feeling is not something I want. I either try too hard and stress everyone out or I don't try at all and I sink into self loathing. Its important not to judge feelings because then you are just adding on shame and guilt. But rather just ask yourself, is the feeling serving me? Is it creating an action and result I want? If not, then I can change that thought. I can't change my feeling without first changing my thought. That's why everything comes back to our thoughts.
Next Up is Action: Action is usually the least important part of the model. Which sounds strange but honestly if you can differentiate between what is a circumstance and a thought. If you can choose a thought that will bring you the feeling you want then the action just slides into place nice and easy. If I decide to think that my blog posting is good for me and I am awesome for doing it then I feel confident and that confidence leads me the action of blogging more. I have that desire already from my thought so my action just slides into place like a puzzle piece.
The last part of the model is the result. A result always circles back to our thoughts. Its crazy but its true. If I think I can lose weight, and I am feeling confident, and I work to lose weight then my result is I lose weight. Its a nice little circle.
That is the model. Now the question is Why do a model? Inside this neat little model sits all the solutions to any problem. And you can play around in the model as much as you want. If I want to set a goal of losing weight. Then I start with the result I want, then I move to the feeling I want. Then I move to the thought I could have that would create that feeling. If I am having a hard time coming up with that thought I just go to the result and copy it in thought line. The action then slides into place nice and easy. And I can fill out the circumstance based on everything else.
Sometimes I feel stressed and I don't know why. So I go to my model and I put stressed into my feelings line then I move onto my action line and then to my result line. Once I have a handle on the result I can see what my thought was. This all can be very hard to do. That's why I have an awesome life coach: Becky smith. And this is why I study all I can, because I know I can't always do it alone and I want to hopefully get to a place where I can help others and be a life coach as well.
Its also important to note. This modeling and thought work is a skill. I can't sit down at a piano for the first time and expect myself to play a symphony. I have to start with Mary had a little lamb. Its the same with thought work. I can't sit down and write out a model for a thought that was bugging me for years and expect everything to be resolved. I have to practice and practice and practice and you guessed it practice again. That's another reason to have a life coach. Its someone to be accountable too. Often times I feel myself sinking back into bad habits but then I get a message from Becky and I am jolted back into what is important. If I was doing this alone I would have given up by now. But I'm not, so I don't.
My next blog post will be about how to change a thought. I just don't want to give all my secrets away all at once. And I love cliffhangers!
The model
Next comes thoughts, a thought comes from a circumstance and it is here that lies all the power. If my circumstance is that I am writing a blog post a thought that comes it mind is: Hey this is cool, look at me doing stuff. Or another thought could be: Does anyone care or will anyone actually read this? Those are two different paths I choose to go down. Which will it be? That's my choice.
Thoughts are important because they create feelings. Also being able to tell the difference between a circumstance and a thought is usually half the battle. That's one reason why its good to have a life coach to talk too and look into what is really causing that thought and feeling.
Feelings are next. Life is not all sunshine and rainbows and here is a fact about life: Half of the time everything is going to be feeling negative feelings. And that's OK! Its OK to be scared when you hear a car horn while you are crossing the street because that fear causes your body to react and look the direction of the on coming car. You the act and move out of the way. Feelings are not always that useful. One example would be: worrying I'm not being a good enough mother. That seems like it could be useful because it should make me try harder. But the action based on that feeling is not something I want. I either try too hard and stress everyone out or I don't try at all and I sink into self loathing. Its important not to judge feelings because then you are just adding on shame and guilt. But rather just ask yourself, is the feeling serving me? Is it creating an action and result I want? If not, then I can change that thought. I can't change my feeling without first changing my thought. That's why everything comes back to our thoughts.
Next Up is Action: Action is usually the least important part of the model. Which sounds strange but honestly if you can differentiate between what is a circumstance and a thought. If you can choose a thought that will bring you the feeling you want then the action just slides into place nice and easy. If I decide to think that my blog posting is good for me and I am awesome for doing it then I feel confident and that confidence leads me the action of blogging more. I have that desire already from my thought so my action just slides into place like a puzzle piece.
The last part of the model is the result. A result always circles back to our thoughts. Its crazy but its true. If I think I can lose weight, and I am feeling confident, and I work to lose weight then my result is I lose weight. Its a nice little circle.
That is the model. Now the question is Why do a model? Inside this neat little model sits all the solutions to any problem. And you can play around in the model as much as you want. If I want to set a goal of losing weight. Then I start with the result I want, then I move to the feeling I want. Then I move to the thought I could have that would create that feeling. If I am having a hard time coming up with that thought I just go to the result and copy it in thought line. The action then slides into place nice and easy. And I can fill out the circumstance based on everything else.
Sometimes I feel stressed and I don't know why. So I go to my model and I put stressed into my feelings line then I move onto my action line and then to my result line. Once I have a handle on the result I can see what my thought was. This all can be very hard to do. That's why I have an awesome life coach: Becky smith. And this is why I study all I can, because I know I can't always do it alone and I want to hopefully get to a place where I can help others and be a life coach as well.
Its also important to note. This modeling and thought work is a skill. I can't sit down at a piano for the first time and expect myself to play a symphony. I have to start with Mary had a little lamb. Its the same with thought work. I can't sit down and write out a model for a thought that was bugging me for years and expect everything to be resolved. I have to practice and practice and practice and you guessed it practice again. That's another reason to have a life coach. Its someone to be accountable too. Often times I feel myself sinking back into bad habits but then I get a message from Becky and I am jolted back into what is important. If I was doing this alone I would have given up by now. But I'm not, so I don't.
My next blog post will be about how to change a thought. I just don't want to give all my secrets away all at once. And I love cliffhangers!
Monday, March 18, 2019
Day 1: Oh no, its Here!
Its OK, its going to be OK. I'm OK
OK, now that I have that written down, I will discuss the real post which is about meal planning, yay! Anyone who has been in the fitness industry for more then 2 minutes will tell you that if you want to be successful one of the first steps is to plan out your meals. There is an obvious reason for that and its called "Don't Let the Monkey DRIVE!" Really its about the lower brain verses the higher brain.
In our lower brain sits all our emotions, urges, desires, and habits. In our higher brain sits our logic and intelligence. (Basically) When we make decision we are either accessing our lower brain Example: oh look a cookie, I want a cookie. Or we bypass that lower brain and use our higher brain Example: A cookie is not apart of our meal plan today, get it away from me. Our lower brain is the monkey and it really wants to drive or make decisions. We feel emotions, smell something good, or have a craving and the lower brain wants to tell you what to do. It is kind of childish too: Give me, Give me, Give me. Its also a master manipulator and will convince you that you need the cookie. You deserve the cookie. This is who you really are, and life is short. Blah blah blah the list could go on forever. If you want to stop the monkey you need to access the higher brain and decide with your higher brain a realistic meal plan and then fight the monkey. Its hard and its having to say no about a billion times a day. But as I mentioned in a previous post you can overcome that way of thinking by retraining the brain. You just need to feel that urge and no act up to 100 times and it will retain your brain. Just like the dog and the bell. It is easily said but as I am already experiencing its a tad more difficult to practice. That is where will power and stubbornness come to protect me like a big security guard. "No one gets in unless their name is on the list!"
Today I've got my meal plan. I have researched what is best for me. The plan I chose is based off the Fast Metabolism Diet from Haley Palmory. I will post later my reasons for that, but I have done this meal plan before and the quick answer as to why I choose it is because it makes me feel really good, the food is so yummy and I get results.
Since today is about meal planning I thought I would share mine for today:
Breakfast: Oatmeal and Fruit Smoothie
Morning Snack: Grapefruit
Lunch: Chicken and Wild Rice Stir Fry
Afternoon Snack: Strawberries
Dinner: Salmon with Rice and Vegetables
Also of course as always here is some modeling:
Current Model
Circumstance: Day 1
Thought: I can't do this, its too hard! I already hate everything
Feeling: Stress
Action: Overthink
Result: It becomes too hard and I end up hating everything
New Model:
Circumstance: Day 1
Thought: I GOT THIS!
Feeling: Confident
Action: Work baby Yeah
Result: I DO GOT THIS!
OK, now that I have that written down, I will discuss the real post which is about meal planning, yay! Anyone who has been in the fitness industry for more then 2 minutes will tell you that if you want to be successful one of the first steps is to plan out your meals. There is an obvious reason for that and its called "Don't Let the Monkey DRIVE!" Really its about the lower brain verses the higher brain.
In our lower brain sits all our emotions, urges, desires, and habits. In our higher brain sits our logic and intelligence. (Basically) When we make decision we are either accessing our lower brain Example: oh look a cookie, I want a cookie. Or we bypass that lower brain and use our higher brain Example: A cookie is not apart of our meal plan today, get it away from me. Our lower brain is the monkey and it really wants to drive or make decisions. We feel emotions, smell something good, or have a craving and the lower brain wants to tell you what to do. It is kind of childish too: Give me, Give me, Give me. Its also a master manipulator and will convince you that you need the cookie. You deserve the cookie. This is who you really are, and life is short. Blah blah blah the list could go on forever. If you want to stop the monkey you need to access the higher brain and decide with your higher brain a realistic meal plan and then fight the monkey. Its hard and its having to say no about a billion times a day. But as I mentioned in a previous post you can overcome that way of thinking by retraining the brain. You just need to feel that urge and no act up to 100 times and it will retain your brain. Just like the dog and the bell. It is easily said but as I am already experiencing its a tad more difficult to practice. That is where will power and stubbornness come to protect me like a big security guard. "No one gets in unless their name is on the list!"
Today I've got my meal plan. I have researched what is best for me. The plan I chose is based off the Fast Metabolism Diet from Haley Palmory. I will post later my reasons for that, but I have done this meal plan before and the quick answer as to why I choose it is because it makes me feel really good, the food is so yummy and I get results.
Since today is about meal planning I thought I would share mine for today:
Breakfast: Oatmeal and Fruit Smoothie
Morning Snack: Grapefruit
Lunch: Chicken and Wild Rice Stir Fry
Afternoon Snack: Strawberries
Dinner: Salmon with Rice and Vegetables
Also of course as always here is some modeling:
Current Model
Circumstance: Day 1
Thought: I can't do this, its too hard! I already hate everything
Feeling: Stress
Action: Overthink
Result: It becomes too hard and I end up hating everything
New Model:
Circumstance: Day 1
Thought: I GOT THIS!
Feeling: Confident
Action: Work baby Yeah
Result: I DO GOT THIS!
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Feeling all the Feelings
Still prepping. The big day is Monday. I am getting ready. Getting my mind ready. My body is always ready to eat healthy but my mind always need more convincing. So I am getting ready to feel all the negative feelings, the discomfort, the urges. Its going to be great! Or more accurately its going to be a roller coaster. Wahoo!
Lesson for the day: Process vs avoidance.
I need to be hyper aware of what I am feeling and ask myself: Am I processing this or am I avoiding this? If I am thinking this while shoving another brownie down my throat then the answer is obvious, I am avoiding. But most of the time it might be a little more subtle. Most of the time when I urge food or desire something delicious I don't know what I am feeling or what I am avoiding feeling. I just want food because I just want food. But I can feel emotions. And I can retrain my brain to process urges until finally the urge is gone. The challenge: Process an urge 100 times. Wow, that seems like a lot. But that is retraining for you. Nothing comes easy in this life. Also the emotion I need to get really comfortable with is disappointment. That will be a regular visitor and might even become a close friend. Its OK and if I can process it without guilt or shame then I come out on top.
Hello Disappointment. Its nice to meet you once again. I am looking forward to spending some time with you. Heck, we might even become good friends. I also look forward to meeting some of your friends, stress, and frustration. They are welcome anytime. Lets just have a big old party. Wahoo!
Here is some modeling for ya
Current thought model:
Circumstance: Monday is 2 days away
Thought: Oh no the end is near
Feeling: Anxiety
Action: Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die
Result: The end is still near
New Model:
Circumstance: Monday is 2 days away
Thoughts: Its all about to start
Feeling: Excited
Action: Prepping, prepping. prepping
Result: It is about to start. like really. Its going to happen
Lesson for the day: Process vs avoidance.
I need to be hyper aware of what I am feeling and ask myself: Am I processing this or am I avoiding this? If I am thinking this while shoving another brownie down my throat then the answer is obvious, I am avoiding. But most of the time it might be a little more subtle. Most of the time when I urge food or desire something delicious I don't know what I am feeling or what I am avoiding feeling. I just want food because I just want food. But I can feel emotions. And I can retrain my brain to process urges until finally the urge is gone. The challenge: Process an urge 100 times. Wow, that seems like a lot. But that is retraining for you. Nothing comes easy in this life. Also the emotion I need to get really comfortable with is disappointment. That will be a regular visitor and might even become a close friend. Its OK and if I can process it without guilt or shame then I come out on top.
Hello Disappointment. Its nice to meet you once again. I am looking forward to spending some time with you. Heck, we might even become good friends. I also look forward to meeting some of your friends, stress, and frustration. They are welcome anytime. Lets just have a big old party. Wahoo!
Here is some modeling for ya
Current thought model:
Circumstance: Monday is 2 days away
Thought: Oh no the end is near
Feeling: Anxiety
Action: Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die
Result: The end is still near
New Model:
Circumstance: Monday is 2 days away
Thoughts: Its all about to start
Feeling: Excited
Action: Prepping, prepping. prepping
Result: It is about to start. like really. Its going to happen
Friday, March 15, 2019
Prepping
My Brain made me do it!
That's the truth right now. I am thinking thoughts that I should be prepping now and start on Monday. That thought has served me in the past, so I am allowing it to stick around. Having a blog to report too is helping me stay accountable. Even if the only people reading this is me and my life coach.
(Hi Becky! I still doing it)
I am excited, I am learning little by little what to expect and how to start. My lesson for today: I am perfectly fine the way I am right now. Does that seem odd to say? Especially when I just said I want to lose weight. Well it is true. I am perfectly OK with who I am right now. My value is unchangeable and is not does not move based on a number on a scale. I am me, and I love me.
Why is that important? Because I have given power to the all mighty scale much of my adult life. I let the scale tell me whether or not I am worthy. And guess what? The scale was an innocence victim. It was just telling the truth. My awesome brain was putting negative thoughts to a circumstance. The poor scale was just doing its job. But I hated it for that. Now I forgive the scale and come to the first truth of my weight loss journey. I don't need it any more. That is huge for me! So if you don't mind I will now say my formal goodbye to my bathroom scale.
Dear Bathroom Scale,
Let me first apologize. You did your job and I hated you for it. But secretly I was obsessed with you. It was a roller coaster of emotion and in the end I gave you all my power, all my personal worth I rested on you. That was not fair to either of us. So now is the time for us to part ways. Not forever but for a while, 30 days to be exact. (Not like I'm counting) I hope to come back better and stronger and give you the power you deserve, which is none. Your just an object that records the gravitation pull of my bones and fat and muscle relative to the earths surface. Or something more "sciencey." (Yup I make up words) I get it, and we both deserve better. So for now I say Good bye. See you in 30 days (once again I'm not counting)
Sincerely
Sara
(your recovering stalker)
So Here is my model for today:
Old Thought Model
Circumstance: Current Weight
Thought: Wow I need to loss Weight
Feeling: Stress
Action: Over Eat
Result: I still need to lose weight
After some thought work:
Circumstance: Current Weight
Thought: It is what it is
Feeling: Peace
Action: Focus on self care or just move on
Result: It becomes just a number: It is what it is
That's the truth right now. I am thinking thoughts that I should be prepping now and start on Monday. That thought has served me in the past, so I am allowing it to stick around. Having a blog to report too is helping me stay accountable. Even if the only people reading this is me and my life coach.
(Hi Becky! I still doing it)
I am excited, I am learning little by little what to expect and how to start. My lesson for today: I am perfectly fine the way I am right now. Does that seem odd to say? Especially when I just said I want to lose weight. Well it is true. I am perfectly OK with who I am right now. My value is unchangeable and is not does not move based on a number on a scale. I am me, and I love me.
Why is that important? Because I have given power to the all mighty scale much of my adult life. I let the scale tell me whether or not I am worthy. And guess what? The scale was an innocence victim. It was just telling the truth. My awesome brain was putting negative thoughts to a circumstance. The poor scale was just doing its job. But I hated it for that. Now I forgive the scale and come to the first truth of my weight loss journey. I don't need it any more. That is huge for me! So if you don't mind I will now say my formal goodbye to my bathroom scale.
Dear Bathroom Scale,
Let me first apologize. You did your job and I hated you for it. But secretly I was obsessed with you. It was a roller coaster of emotion and in the end I gave you all my power, all my personal worth I rested on you. That was not fair to either of us. So now is the time for us to part ways. Not forever but for a while, 30 days to be exact. (Not like I'm counting) I hope to come back better and stronger and give you the power you deserve, which is none. Your just an object that records the gravitation pull of my bones and fat and muscle relative to the earths surface. Or something more "sciencey." (Yup I make up words) I get it, and we both deserve better. So for now I say Good bye. See you in 30 days (once again I'm not counting)
Sincerely
Sara
(your recovering stalker)
So Here is my model for today:
Old Thought Model
Circumstance: Current Weight
Thought: Wow I need to loss Weight
Feeling: Stress
Action: Over Eat
Result: I still need to lose weight
After some thought work:
Circumstance: Current Weight
Thought: It is what it is
Feeling: Peace
Action: Focus on self care or just move on
Result: It becomes just a number: It is what it is
Thursday, March 14, 2019
In the Beginning
Hello,
I'm here to share my journey. My journey is a double feature. 2 for the price of 1. The physical and the mental. Lets start with the physical.
I want to lose weight. I always want to lose weight. If a genie came to me right now with 3 wishes, weight loss would be wish number 1. I have lots of reasons, most are about vanity. But recently I have come to a better conclusion. Rather then just a number on the scale I want to reach I want to treat my body well. I have struggled with digestive issues for a few years now. And I recently discovered that a big part of those digestive issues was the unhealthy food I was eating. So I want to lose weight but more importantly I want to be good to myself. I want to feel good, look good, and be confident. There is no number I want to reach, but rather a state of mind I want to get too. Which leads me to my next point.
I want to be confident and loving to myself. I recently discovered life coaching and the healing power of self care. I have an awesome life coach. And now I am a student. I want to learn as much as I can to help others. I know I have much to learn. That is why I'm starting a blog. I want to share with the universe all the ups and downs, as well as the joy and pain of life and more personally, my life. Life is not about perfection. And I'm so excited to take this journey with you and to share what I am learning. That all starts right now.
Setting a Goal:
In life coaching we talk about models. Everything starts with a circumstance which causes a thought, which causes an feeling, which we action upon, and then creates a result which all comes back to our thought.
When setting a goal I start with the result, then decide how I want to feel about that result, then decide on a thought that will get me to that result. Then the action always seems to fall into place. The circumstance of course always remains the same. A circumstance is neutral and is usually outside of our control. So here are my goals. In model form:
GOAL #1
Circumstance: My Daily Routine
Thought: I am going to eat good healthy food that makes me feel so good
Feeling: Good
Action: Eat well and plan well
Result: I am eating good healthy food that makes me feel good
GOAL #2
Circumstance: My Life
I'm here to share my journey. My journey is a double feature. 2 for the price of 1. The physical and the mental. Lets start with the physical.
I want to lose weight. I always want to lose weight. If a genie came to me right now with 3 wishes, weight loss would be wish number 1. I have lots of reasons, most are about vanity. But recently I have come to a better conclusion. Rather then just a number on the scale I want to reach I want to treat my body well. I have struggled with digestive issues for a few years now. And I recently discovered that a big part of those digestive issues was the unhealthy food I was eating. So I want to lose weight but more importantly I want to be good to myself. I want to feel good, look good, and be confident. There is no number I want to reach, but rather a state of mind I want to get too. Which leads me to my next point.
I want to be confident and loving to myself. I recently discovered life coaching and the healing power of self care. I have an awesome life coach. And now I am a student. I want to learn as much as I can to help others. I know I have much to learn. That is why I'm starting a blog. I want to share with the universe all the ups and downs, as well as the joy and pain of life and more personally, my life. Life is not about perfection. And I'm so excited to take this journey with you and to share what I am learning. That all starts right now.
My first lesson
Setting a Goal:
In life coaching we talk about models. Everything starts with a circumstance which causes a thought, which causes an feeling, which we action upon, and then creates a result which all comes back to our thought.
When setting a goal I start with the result, then decide how I want to feel about that result, then decide on a thought that will get me to that result. Then the action always seems to fall into place. The circumstance of course always remains the same. A circumstance is neutral and is usually outside of our control. So here are my goals. In model form:
GOAL #1
Circumstance: My Daily Routine
Thought: I am going to eat good healthy food that makes me feel so good
Feeling: Good
Action: Eat well and plan well
Result: I am eating good healthy food that makes me feel good
GOAL #2
Circumstance: My Life
Thought: I am going to write a blog about the up and downs of life
coaching and weight loss
Feeling: Excitement
Action: I write a blog
Result: I'm a blogger who writes about life coaching and weight loss
Its important to note the 2 key factors that will help me on my journey. First an understanding what "healthy eating" means for me. It means lots of vegetables, with portioned protein, fruit and grains. Staying away from sugar, processed food and white flour. And drinking lots of water. I want to live the 8 out of 10 rule. 80% of the time I eat within my meal plan and 20% of the time I allow myself a little wriggle room for life.
The second factor is I have an amazing life coach: Becky smith. Its hard to do this alone and luckily I am not doing it alone. She and I follow Jody Moore. Life coaching is a great way to think through your thoughts and love yourself. Which is the real reason I'm doing any of this. I love me and I deserve self care!
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