My Brain made me do it!
That's the truth right now. I am thinking thoughts that I should be prepping now and start on Monday. That thought has served me in the past, so I am allowing it to stick around. Having a blog to report too is helping me stay accountable. Even if the only people reading this is me and my life coach.
(Hi Becky! I still doing it)
I am excited, I am learning little by little what to expect and how to start. My lesson for today: I am perfectly fine the way I am right now. Does that seem odd to say? Especially when I just said I want to lose weight. Well it is true. I am perfectly OK with who I am right now. My value is unchangeable and is not does not move based on a number on a scale. I am me, and I love me.
Why is that important? Because I have given power to the all mighty scale much of my adult life. I let the scale tell me whether or not I am worthy. And guess what? The scale was an innocence victim. It was just telling the truth. My awesome brain was putting negative thoughts to a circumstance. The poor scale was just doing its job. But I hated it for that. Now I forgive the scale and come to the first truth of my weight loss journey. I don't need it any more. That is huge for me! So if you don't mind I will now say my formal goodbye to my bathroom scale.
Dear Bathroom Scale,
Let me first apologize. You did your job and I hated you for it. But secretly I was obsessed with you. It was a roller coaster of emotion and in the end I gave you all my power, all my personal worth I rested on you. That was not fair to either of us. So now is the time for us to part ways. Not forever but for a while, 30 days to be exact. (Not like I'm counting) I hope to come back better and stronger and give you the power you deserve, which is none. Your just an object that records the gravitation pull of my bones and fat and muscle relative to the earths surface. Or something more "sciencey." (Yup I make up words) I get it, and we both deserve better. So for now I say Good bye. See you in 30 days (once again I'm not counting)
Sincerely
Sara
(your recovering stalker)
So Here is my model for today:
Old Thought Model
Circumstance: Current Weight
Thought: Wow I need to loss Weight
Feeling: Stress
Action: Over Eat
Result: I still need to lose weight
After some thought work:
Circumstance: Current Weight
Thought: It is what it is
Feeling: Peace
Action: Focus on self care or just move on
Result: It becomes just a number: It is what it is
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