Still prepping. The big day is Monday. I am getting ready. Getting my mind ready. My body is always ready to eat healthy but my mind always need more convincing. So I am getting ready to feel all the negative feelings, the discomfort, the urges. Its going to be great! Or more accurately its going to be a roller coaster. Wahoo!
Lesson for the day: Process vs avoidance.
I need to be hyper aware of what I am feeling and ask myself: Am I processing this or am I avoiding this? If I am thinking this while shoving another brownie down my throat then the answer is obvious, I am avoiding. But most of the time it might be a little more subtle. Most of the time when I urge food or desire something delicious I don't know what I am feeling or what I am avoiding feeling. I just want food because I just want food. But I can feel emotions. And I can retrain my brain to process urges until finally the urge is gone. The challenge: Process an urge 100 times. Wow, that seems like a lot. But that is retraining for you. Nothing comes easy in this life. Also the emotion I need to get really comfortable with is disappointment. That will be a regular visitor and might even become a close friend. Its OK and if I can process it without guilt or shame then I come out on top.
Hello Disappointment. Its nice to meet you once again. I am looking forward to spending some time with you. Heck, we might even become good friends. I also look forward to meeting some of your friends, stress, and frustration. They are welcome anytime. Lets just have a big old party. Wahoo!
Here is some modeling for ya
Current thought model:
Circumstance: Monday is 2 days away
Thought: Oh no the end is near
Feeling: Anxiety
Action: Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die
Result: The end is still near
New Model:
Circumstance: Monday is 2 days away
Thoughts: Its all about to start
Feeling: Excited
Action: Prepping, prepping. prepping
Result: It is about to start. like really. Its going to happen
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