Hello,
Today's topic is a good one: Hunger. Ask yourself a question: what is your relationship with hunger?
Mine was twisted. I believed that hunger=weight loss. Which meant that when I was hungry I would feel happy and proud because it meant that I was doing something right. Wow, that is so messed up. And to tell the truth I still believe it sometimes. I had to relearn a lot of things with intuitive eating but this was truly the starting point for me. I had to stop believing that hunger was a good thing. Diet culture had taught me for years that the only way to lose weight was to be hungry. Hunger meant that your body was eating the extra fat you want to get rid of. I was taught that in middle school. I will admit that yes in the short term this is somewhat true. But it is not true in the long term. Hunger actually messes up your metabolism badly. Your amazing body that is a gift from god has the ability to withstand all kinds of hunger. That how people lived through famines, the great depression, the holocaust, poverty, and even eating disorders. It is a true blessing that the body doesn't just shut down and die when its blood sugars are too low. If that were to actually happen people would avoid hunger like any other pain. We would actually be encouraging each to eat! But that doesn't happen.
In order to stop yourself from dying your amazing body will slow its metabolism and go into survival mode. It will actually hold on to as much fat as possible all while using up muscle and other amino acids found in the brain, liver, pancreas and other vital organs. That's right your body will eat the brain before it will eat your love handles. Crazy! Once you are able to eat again the body is still working on a slow metabolism but this time the bodies first priority is to store fat in case this ever happens again. That is why binging is a big part of dieting. Even health professionals know this and they work it into their meals plan. They call it a "cheat day" or meal if they are really heartless. Your body's biological response to hunger is to over eat and store fat. So when you starve or ignore your hunger cues your amazing body tries to save you by eating enough not just for now but for later too. Its also a really sad part of diet culture because everyone blames Will Power for binging but binging is a natural biological response to starvation. You amazing body is just keeping you alive. And when you pound down that bag of chips or eat to the point of feeling like your are going to throw up. That is just an innate survival skill that your ancestors were extremely grateful for.
Dieting is a first world problem. Every one blames the over abundance of food and especially processed food for the "obesity epidemic" (That word is just more fear mongering set up by diet culture and I hate it but more on that later) But in other parts of the world where food is actually a scarcity and a daily struggle. This "epidemic" is actually an unfair advantage that we take for granted. Ask yourself this: When was the last time your were grateful for the food you ate? Now ask yourself: When was the last time you politely said no to any kind of food out of fear that it would "mess up your diet" or make you gain weight?
Hunger is a bad thing. You body does not want to be hungry. You can not walk off a broken leg. You can not stop the feeling of hunger by ignoring it.You amazing body will take over and eat in excess. And if your thinking this does not apply to you. You eat a strict diet every day and you never bing or crave anything outside of your allotted calories and macros. Then we need to have a discussion about eating disorders. Because the only people who can overcome binging habits or completely ignore hunger cues have some kind of eating disorder. More on that later....
To end on a positive not I would like to say: You are good. your body is good. It is doing what is was designed to do. Self Love is the real answer to any body image issue.
"Today I asked my body what she needed,
Which is a big deal
Considering my journey of
Not really asking that much.
I thought, she might need more water.
Or Protein.
Or greens.
Or yoga.
Or supplements.
Or movement.
But as I stood in the shower
Reflecting on her stretch marks,
Her roundness where I would like flatness,
Her softness where I would like firmness,
All those conditioned wishes
That form a bundle of
Never-Quite-Right-Ness
She whispered very gently:
Could you just love me like this?"
-Hollie Holden
Wednesday, August 7, 2019
Tuesday, August 6, 2019
What have I been up too lately?
Hello,
Today I would like to catch up a little bit of what has been happening in my life. Since there has been a little bit of a gap in blog posts I would like to state that I am still going down the rabbit hole of intuitive eating and life coaching. I am more passionate then ever about the importance of managing our thoughts and trusting our own bodies. I am reading everything I can about intuitive eating and I am listening to life coaches and podcasts and following Instagram accounts and following Facebook groups etc etc. The point is I am learning everything I can with a SECRET goal in mind.................Shush! This is for your eyes only!! The SECRET IS:
I want to teach and help others who might be struggling with food disorders, Self worth issues, or lack general lack of self care. Its a big deal for me because for way too long I truly believed that the solution to all my self worth problems, all the negatively I surrounded myself with about my body and my worth as a human being could all be solved if I were able to reach the "Correct Weight". I NEEDED TO BE THIN and I was failing at it miserably. Because I was "failing" at "eating healthy" and because I hated exercise (Truly despised it more on that later) I believed I was a weak person. Truly Weak. I also believed that my weight was completely my fault which of course brought on a lot of shame. But then I learned that my thoughts control my feelings and actions and that I could change how I felt about basically everything (thank you life coaching). Then I went further and thought about my beliefs toward my body. One day I read something that was really hard to hear and still hard to believe..."If you fail on a diet, its the diets fault not yours".
There is out there right now an entire underground of medical professionals fighting against diet culture and the societal belief that everything with your body comes down to your own will power. That false statement is dangerously untrue. Its also making everyone miserable. But how can you fight a billion dollar a year industry, its hard. The truly messed up part of this whole equation is that the "health and fitness" industry has known for decades that the likelihood of humans to sustain long term weight loss is very minimal. AND THEY LOVE IT! they actually thrive off of it. Here a quote that proves this point:
"When asked how WEIGHT WATCHERS is considered successful when only 16% maintain their goal weight for 5 years the former finance director of weight watchers Richard Samber said: Its successful because the other 84% have to come back and do it again. That's where our business comes from." (source mollybcounceling)
So here is my contribution to the fight. I am hear writing my own story, ready and willing to help anyone else that might need some encouragement. I know I do....daily!
I am talking specifically to just you. Yes YOU! You are fine, your body is good, and you are needed and cared about. Right now in that amazing brain of yours is a truly amazing, creative, and crazy idea....or you know maybe a million crazy, awesome ideas. You are the only person standing in your way. So here is your permission to get out of your own way! You got this!!
Today I would like to catch up a little bit of what has been happening in my life. Since there has been a little bit of a gap in blog posts I would like to state that I am still going down the rabbit hole of intuitive eating and life coaching. I am more passionate then ever about the importance of managing our thoughts and trusting our own bodies. I am reading everything I can about intuitive eating and I am listening to life coaches and podcasts and following Instagram accounts and following Facebook groups etc etc. The point is I am learning everything I can with a SECRET goal in mind.................Shush! This is for your eyes only!! The SECRET IS:
I want to teach and help others who might be struggling with food disorders, Self worth issues, or lack general lack of self care. Its a big deal for me because for way too long I truly believed that the solution to all my self worth problems, all the negatively I surrounded myself with about my body and my worth as a human being could all be solved if I were able to reach the "Correct Weight". I NEEDED TO BE THIN and I was failing at it miserably. Because I was "failing" at "eating healthy" and because I hated exercise (Truly despised it more on that later) I believed I was a weak person. Truly Weak. I also believed that my weight was completely my fault which of course brought on a lot of shame. But then I learned that my thoughts control my feelings and actions and that I could change how I felt about basically everything (thank you life coaching). Then I went further and thought about my beliefs toward my body. One day I read something that was really hard to hear and still hard to believe..."If you fail on a diet, its the diets fault not yours".
There is out there right now an entire underground of medical professionals fighting against diet culture and the societal belief that everything with your body comes down to your own will power. That false statement is dangerously untrue. Its also making everyone miserable. But how can you fight a billion dollar a year industry, its hard. The truly messed up part of this whole equation is that the "health and fitness" industry has known for decades that the likelihood of humans to sustain long term weight loss is very minimal. AND THEY LOVE IT! they actually thrive off of it. Here a quote that proves this point:
"When asked how WEIGHT WATCHERS is considered successful when only 16% maintain their goal weight for 5 years the former finance director of weight watchers Richard Samber said: Its successful because the other 84% have to come back and do it again. That's where our business comes from." (source mollybcounceling)
So here is my contribution to the fight. I am hear writing my own story, ready and willing to help anyone else that might need some encouragement. I know I do....daily!
I am talking specifically to just you. Yes YOU! You are fine, your body is good, and you are needed and cared about. Right now in that amazing brain of yours is a truly amazing, creative, and crazy idea....or you know maybe a million crazy, awesome ideas. You are the only person standing in your way. So here is your permission to get out of your own way! You got this!!
Thursday, May 30, 2019
Pivoting
Hello Internet,
Right now I am in the process of change. A process I like to call pivoting. I am learning new and wonderful things and walking away from core beliefs that have been hurting me for a long time. Beliefs based on diet culture. What is diet culture? Its our culture today. Its everywhere, and in everything. Its anything that tells you that you are not good enough as you are but that's okay buy this product, do this meal program, work out til all your bones break and you will be fixed. Its so embedded into everything in our society its very difficult to pick out. The best way to describe it is in question form, so here is a sample:
Do you feel guilty eating certain foods? Diet Culture
Do you feel guilty eating at certain times of day? Diet Culture
Do you stress about the amount of food you eat in a day? Diet Culture
Do let yourself starve? Diet Culture
Do you feel shame about your weight, or body shape? Diet Culture
Do you believe that confidence can be found in weight loss? Diet Culture
There are lots more questions I could add but I said it was a sample so i will stick to that. Here is my story and what has brought me to this crossroads. At the beginning of the blog my goal was to loss weight. I had an excellent diet plan that worked well for me. I also had an awesome life coach cheering me on and helping me combat all the mental hiccups I had. The diet was a 28 day meal and exercise plan. I lasted the entire 28 days and at the end I was very proud of the 14 pounds I lost. I was feeling good and thinking I could easily keep this up and lose lots of weight. What went wrong? Nothing and everything if that makes sense. What happened was life. More importantly what happened was biological, not MENTAL. That is a huge point that I did not understand at the time. After the 28 days I went back slowly to eating normally but I was really overeating. After 28 days of obsessing about food. (Which by the way is another biological response your body makes in a state of starvation Ref: Intuitive Eating) I began eating foods I had been dreaming about for such a long time. I ate and I ate and I ate. The whole time feeling much shame and guilt believing what diet culture has taught me my whole life, that it was my will power that was the problem. The real problem was I stayed in a state of starvation long enough that my body reacted by overeating. There have been countless studies on this and if your are interested in the studies you can find them in the book referenced in this blog (ref: intuitive eating) Simply put my body was believing that is would not be fed again, so it told my brain to eat as much as possible.
I am thankful to my life coach Becky Smith who nudge me into the path of Stephanie Webb and her podcast Nutrition Redefined which then pointed me in the direction of a life changing book called: Intuitive eating: A revolutionary program that works by Evelyn Tribole M.S., R.D. and Elyse Resch M.S.,R.D.,F.A.D.A, C.E.D.R.D
I will be discussing this in more detail as I continue my journey down the rabbit hole of intuitive eating. If you wonder what that phrase means. Intuitive eating is the most basic human instinct that for whatever reason we as a society ignore. It means eating when your are hungry and stop eating when you are full. It means trusting your body to do what is was made to do. Its eating well and loving yourself just as your are. And most importantly it is trusting yourself.
I end today with a quote that really changed my thinking, and it came from the book, intuitive eating: "When a diet fails, why do we blame ourselves and not the diet?"
Right now I am in the process of change. A process I like to call pivoting. I am learning new and wonderful things and walking away from core beliefs that have been hurting me for a long time. Beliefs based on diet culture. What is diet culture? Its our culture today. Its everywhere, and in everything. Its anything that tells you that you are not good enough as you are but that's okay buy this product, do this meal program, work out til all your bones break and you will be fixed. Its so embedded into everything in our society its very difficult to pick out. The best way to describe it is in question form, so here is a sample:
Do you feel guilty eating certain foods? Diet Culture
Do you feel guilty eating at certain times of day? Diet Culture
Do you stress about the amount of food you eat in a day? Diet Culture
Do let yourself starve? Diet Culture
Do you feel shame about your weight, or body shape? Diet Culture
Do you believe that confidence can be found in weight loss? Diet Culture
There are lots more questions I could add but I said it was a sample so i will stick to that. Here is my story and what has brought me to this crossroads. At the beginning of the blog my goal was to loss weight. I had an excellent diet plan that worked well for me. I also had an awesome life coach cheering me on and helping me combat all the mental hiccups I had. The diet was a 28 day meal and exercise plan. I lasted the entire 28 days and at the end I was very proud of the 14 pounds I lost. I was feeling good and thinking I could easily keep this up and lose lots of weight. What went wrong? Nothing and everything if that makes sense. What happened was life. More importantly what happened was biological, not MENTAL. That is a huge point that I did not understand at the time. After the 28 days I went back slowly to eating normally but I was really overeating. After 28 days of obsessing about food. (Which by the way is another biological response your body makes in a state of starvation Ref: Intuitive Eating) I began eating foods I had been dreaming about for such a long time. I ate and I ate and I ate. The whole time feeling much shame and guilt believing what diet culture has taught me my whole life, that it was my will power that was the problem. The real problem was I stayed in a state of starvation long enough that my body reacted by overeating. There have been countless studies on this and if your are interested in the studies you can find them in the book referenced in this blog (ref: intuitive eating) Simply put my body was believing that is would not be fed again, so it told my brain to eat as much as possible.
I am thankful to my life coach Becky Smith who nudge me into the path of Stephanie Webb and her podcast Nutrition Redefined which then pointed me in the direction of a life changing book called: Intuitive eating: A revolutionary program that works by Evelyn Tribole M.S., R.D. and Elyse Resch M.S.,R.D.,F.A.D.A, C.E.D.R.D
I will be discussing this in more detail as I continue my journey down the rabbit hole of intuitive eating. If you wonder what that phrase means. Intuitive eating is the most basic human instinct that for whatever reason we as a society ignore. It means eating when your are hungry and stop eating when you are full. It means trusting your body to do what is was made to do. Its eating well and loving yourself just as your are. And most importantly it is trusting yourself.
I end today with a quote that really changed my thinking, and it came from the book, intuitive eating: "When a diet fails, why do we blame ourselves and not the diet?"
Wednesday, April 3, 2019
Thought Work
"The average person thinks 80,000 thoughts a day. 90 percent of those thoughts are recurring thoughts. Meaning you have thought them before." Dr. Joe Dispenza
That is incredible! Its why thought work is so important. Writing down thoughts and being award of recurring thoughts is a power we yield. Am I going to take advantage of that power? Yes
That is incredible! Its why thought work is so important. Writing down thoughts and being award of recurring thoughts is a power we yield. Am I going to take advantage of that power? Yes
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
Week 2 Done....Sort of
The week is finished. It was a rough, emotional, stressful week but I did not give up. I woke up every morning ready to start over. I went to bed every night with a pep talk that it would be OK and that I can try again tomorrow. I wanted to give up. I wanted to post-pone. In the end I did gain a little weight. But I am still proud of me for trying. For not giving into patterns. For taking the punches and come back stronger. I am still here. That is a big deal!
So what was the lesson learned? Keep Going! Its hard, and when I say hard. I mean harder then I expected. It is surprises and disappointment coming for all angles. Life coaching has taught me to acknowledge my accomplishments. Until I heard that statement which is not new to me, but when it finally clicked that I need to really acknowledge my accomplishments no matter how small they seem to me life changed. I felt a little stronger, a little braver, and a little more confident. I made mistakes that is true, but I did so much to stay on track. I tried and tried and tried and most importantly I didn't let the mistakes dictate my worth. I didn't allow them to take charge or steer the ship. I do so much and that is true of everyone. I want to start working on watching and praising my accomplishments and not focus on the mistakes. Then I will grow and stretch and be better.
Today's Thought;
Circumstance: Week 3
Thought: This is so much harder then I thought it would be
Feeling: Disappointed
Action: Give Up
Result: It is too hard to maintain
New Thought:
Circumstance: Week 3
Thought: Its suppose to be hard but its so worth it
Feeling: Motivated
Action: Move
Result: It is worth it, because it was hard
So what was the lesson learned? Keep Going! Its hard, and when I say hard. I mean harder then I expected. It is surprises and disappointment coming for all angles. Life coaching has taught me to acknowledge my accomplishments. Until I heard that statement which is not new to me, but when it finally clicked that I need to really acknowledge my accomplishments no matter how small they seem to me life changed. I felt a little stronger, a little braver, and a little more confident. I made mistakes that is true, but I did so much to stay on track. I tried and tried and tried and most importantly I didn't let the mistakes dictate my worth. I didn't allow them to take charge or steer the ship. I do so much and that is true of everyone. I want to start working on watching and praising my accomplishments and not focus on the mistakes. Then I will grow and stretch and be better.
Today's Thought;
Circumstance: Week 3
Thought: This is so much harder then I thought it would be
Feeling: Disappointed
Action: Give Up
Result: It is too hard to maintain
New Thought:
Circumstance: Week 3
Thought: Its suppose to be hard but its so worth it
Feeling: Motivated
Action: Move
Result: It is worth it, because it was hard
Thursday, March 28, 2019
Patterns
This week is crazy. My birthday was Tuesday, today is my daughters birthday and Saturday and Sunday are birthday parties. Last night was also a relief society birthday party. What does that mean for me and my goals? Food, lots of sugary, greasy, "hey who cares its your birthday" yummy food. I decided to indulge on my birthday. I ate a burger and fries and cupcakes and pizza and soda. Everything I was dreaming to eat. But at the end of the day I was so sick. I was dying to get back on track and eat healthy the next day. Yesterday was a day of temptation and although I managed to stay on track for most of it I just couldn't say no to the delicious cake sitting right in front of me. Today my daughter wanted to get doughnuts for her class so of course there were doughnuts for breakfast. I managed to say no and eat my healthy veggie and egg breakfast. But I was feeling overwhelmed because as part of the birthday fun I wanted to take molly out to lunch today. She of course wants to go to McDonald's and when I asked what she wanted me to make for dinner tonight her response was mac and cheese. It's starting to feel like too much! And my thoughts were selling me on the idea of giving up or pausing til Monday. Luckily, I listened to a podcast yesterday that really motivated me to stay on track. The podcast was by Ed Mylett (another life coach) and I heard about him through my brother in law. It was the first podcast from Ed Mylett that I have listened too but it made an impact on me.
His podcast was about patterns. Patterns we create in our lives when things get hard or when things get good. He said we all have a pattern of action that we don't really recognize. For me that is eating healthy. I have a pattern of doing good and then a situation or situation(s) come up where temptation is everywhere or it feels like it is everywhere. I then feel overwhelmed and my action is giving up or stopping, which I always hate because then I have to start all over again. I felt it in February when I started the 28 day health challenge, then in week 2 I went on vacation. I feel it now with birthday week. This thought that I can't or I don't want to do this. But Ed said that if you can recognize the pattern, if you can make a conscious decision to acknowledge it then it no longer has any power over you. That is so awesome! And I feel it working for me. Last night when I was feeling weak and reviewing in my head all the food I would be missing out on, I examined my thoughts and realized its a pattern. Now I feel so much power and so much more in control just because I am determined not to follow the pattern. I will keep plugging away, loving myself, eating what I healthy when I can and not beating myself up for mistakes. I will not give up and I will not be defeated. I will keep going because I worth it!
A quote I keep by my bed says: "IF YOU DON'T GIVE UP THEN YOU CAN'T FAIL" it is so true!
His podcast was about patterns. Patterns we create in our lives when things get hard or when things get good. He said we all have a pattern of action that we don't really recognize. For me that is eating healthy. I have a pattern of doing good and then a situation or situation(s) come up where temptation is everywhere or it feels like it is everywhere. I then feel overwhelmed and my action is giving up or stopping, which I always hate because then I have to start all over again. I felt it in February when I started the 28 day health challenge, then in week 2 I went on vacation. I feel it now with birthday week. This thought that I can't or I don't want to do this. But Ed said that if you can recognize the pattern, if you can make a conscious decision to acknowledge it then it no longer has any power over you. That is so awesome! And I feel it working for me. Last night when I was feeling weak and reviewing in my head all the food I would be missing out on, I examined my thoughts and realized its a pattern. Now I feel so much power and so much more in control just because I am determined not to follow the pattern. I will keep plugging away, loving myself, eating what I healthy when I can and not beating myself up for mistakes. I will not give up and I will not be defeated. I will keep going because I worth it!
A quote I keep by my bed says: "IF YOU DON'T GIVE UP THEN YOU CAN'T FAIL" it is so true!
Tuesday, March 26, 2019
First Week Review
I made it one week! That is a huge step for me. Its always takes 3 days for me to be fully mentally committed to a diet. Where this is a lifestyle change its feels great to still be motivated to continue. I have said it before but I think I really mean it this time:This time around I am actually feeling like I can keep up with these eating habits for a long time or really just all the time. Eating healthy 80 percent of the time feels awesome because I don't feel deprived of anything. I get to eat treats and have soda and candy but I just don't gorge myself or make it my main diet. It has also healed my relationship with food. I get to eat some really yummy super healthy things that keeps me excited for the next meal and I get a treat every so often too. I don't feel bored because I'm eating in rotation of phases (reference the fast metabolism diet) and I'm not frustrated trying to find healthy things to eat. Having a routine is so helpful and keeping a rotation helps it not feel boring. Does that make sense? Here is an example of what I am talking about:
Breakfast Schedule:
Mon-Tues: Oatmeal fruit Shake
Wed-Thurs: Fried egg and veggie hash
Fri-Sat: Peanut butter on toast with a side of fruit
Sunday: French Toast with fruit
Its a routine that i don't have to stress about and its a rotation so I'm not eating the same thing everyday. I'm not bored because I am changing things up but I'm also not stressed trying to find something healthy to eat. It's all there for me. It really helps me stay on track and experience a variety of healthy breakfasts.
The same can be said for lunch:
Mon-Tues: Chicken and veggie Stir fry with fruit
Wed-Thurs: Turkey Salad
Fri-Sunday: Sandwich with a fruit and veggie
The only thing that changes of course is my dinner menu but even that is easy with some practice. Meal planning and journaling helped me get through my first week. I am a recovering scale-o-holic (addicted to the scale) so I have measured myself after a week and I am down a few pounds. (Exact number will be calculated after the 30 day benchmark) I have cut down quite a bit and that feels good too. But I'm proud of myself for not giving up and I know I am on the right track! That feels awesome too!!
Breakfast Schedule:
Mon-Tues: Oatmeal fruit Shake
Wed-Thurs: Fried egg and veggie hash
Fri-Sat: Peanut butter on toast with a side of fruit
Sunday: French Toast with fruit
Its a routine that i don't have to stress about and its a rotation so I'm not eating the same thing everyday. I'm not bored because I am changing things up but I'm also not stressed trying to find something healthy to eat. It's all there for me. It really helps me stay on track and experience a variety of healthy breakfasts.
The same can be said for lunch:
Mon-Tues: Chicken and veggie Stir fry with fruit
Wed-Thurs: Turkey Salad
Fri-Sunday: Sandwich with a fruit and veggie
The only thing that changes of course is my dinner menu but even that is easy with some practice. Meal planning and journaling helped me get through my first week. I am a recovering scale-o-holic (addicted to the scale) so I have measured myself after a week and I am down a few pounds. (Exact number will be calculated after the 30 day benchmark) I have cut down quite a bit and that feels good too. But I'm proud of myself for not giving up and I know I am on the right track! That feels awesome too!!
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